Is fear preventing you from being your most authentic self?

(Photo Caption: That face you make when you realise that fear no longer holds you back!)

We often hide behind ‘things’ to mask a reality that we might be too afraid to face.

I became an expert at this and managed to keep this up until about 3 years ago.

Looking back now, I realise that I spent so long trying to live the life that I felt other people wanted me to live. My focus was on trying to live up to the expectations of others instead of focusing on my own potential. Whenever I didn’t meet those expectations, which was quite often, I would be filled with a huge sense of disappointment. This disappointment would lead to debilitating and soul destroying depression. I would convince myself that I wasn’t good enough and lacked the confidence and self esteem to tell myself otherwise. This would then lead to fear and anxiety which would paralyse my thought process and destabilise my mind set. In a strange way, it felt comfortable here because it meant that I could hide behind my fear and my denial about who I really was. I didn’t have to put much effort into staying where I was. Even the thought of moving from one state to another was exhausting.

My lack of confidence in my own ability prevented me from taking up opportunities that came my way. In particular, my singing. Through fear, I let others take control of this gift instead of packaging it myself and delivering it in my own authentic way.

I guess that’s the reason why I decided to scrap the original direction for my last album, ‘From Pain to Purpose’

The lyrics tell the story of my testimony and how God has used my pain and turned it into real purpose.

The original album idea was trying to cover up the pain with heavy baselines, to distort the feeling and emotion with fancy arrangements and harmonies and to create a synthetic atmosphere that ran the risk of taking away the important message that I was trying to share.

Part way through the album project I decide scrap the production and start again. This time it was simply my voice, the lyrics and a guitar. A beautiful and genuine acoustic album that allows the listener to fully connect with my story.

(Here’s the link just incase you’d like to buy your own copy!) http://www.ireneaserie.bandcamp.com

Apart from my children, this is one of my most proudest achievements and one that I feared the most due to how much it exposed the real me.

I felt so vulnerable, there was nothing to cover up the hurt and pain in my voice, there was no hiding behind an electronic beat or layered harmony. It was just me, in my simplest form, doing what I love and sharing my journey.

Releasing that album empowered me to approach everything that I did from that point onwards with a renewed sense of self. A self that didn’t need permission or validation from others to exist. A self that didn’t require a target or a deadline. A self that didn’t require a meeting of expectations from others.

I didn’t need to fit into others ideas of who I should be. I felt for so long that I needed the approval of others and so became obsessed with this and loved nothing better than to please others.

Finally, I realised that the only opinion that mattered about who I am and what I was trying to do, was my own. If you need something, you tend to have a lot of love, energy and time for it. I didn’t love my self enough and so did not feel the need to put enough time and energy into fixing and maintaining me.

The last 12 months in particular, have been a great learning experience for me in terms of what I have discovered about who I really am and what I stand for.

I am an amazing woman who has endured some extremely tough times to get to where I am now. I no longer wait for others to confirm this for me. I walk with this self validation in my heart everyday. It’s not an ego thing, it’s a faith thing.

It’s great when others confirm what I feel about me by making beautiful and positive comments about my journey and my achievements so far.

It’s also irrelevant to me when hurtful words are used to try and break me or undermine my testimony. Those who take the time to rain on my parade, really need to ask themselves: “what did I really achieve for myself in trying to bring her down?”

I used to doubt the positives that others would share about me and buy into the negative and hurtful things that others would claim about me.

The difference now is that I love myself enough and know myself enough to know that even without the feedback of others, everyday I will celebrate me, will embrace me and will give thanks to God for the unique, creatively gifted and wonderfully made individual that He has called me to be.

I thank God for all that I have been through and what it has allowed me to discover about myself.

I thank God for enabling me to go my own separate way to establish a new and exciting path that would lead me even closer to the purpose that He set out for me.

I have spent this last year rediscovering who Irene really is again. I love me more than anyone else does (apart from God!)

I don’t rely on others anymore to show me the love to sustain me. I spent too many wasted years broken and disappointed because I wasn’t getting what I needed from others. If only I had realised back then that what I needed was right there with me all along, hidden deep within, buried inside my secret place.

Before I knew who I really was, fear prevented me from finding out.

But now that I’m overcoming that fear, I am living my best life ever as my most authentic self.

I now declare the following over myself:

I am not responsible for your happiness and you are not responsible for mine.

I forgive me. I’m letting go, I’m moving forwards away from fear towards faith and hope. ‘Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.’ Isaiah 43:18 NIV

Do not become so consumed by your circumstance to the point where you don’t recognise when God himself comes along to try and help you out of it.

‘For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline’ 2 Timothy 1:7 NIV






Is my past shame really controlling my future?

I’ve done many things in the past that I am ashamed of. Things that I’ve never shared with anyone but God. Some things, I’ve been quite open about in previous blogs, because other people’s lives and well-being depended on it. I believe that one persons testimony can be somebody else’s lifeline.

As a Christian there is one thing that I have felt a deep sense of shame over.


I’ve been a single parent for the last 3+ years and divorced for the last 2+ years. I have to say, these have been some of the most challenging years of my life thus far. The stigma attached with divorce led to me isolating myself and never wanting to be around other Christians in particular, for fear of being judged and despised.

I used a range of defence mechanisms as a coping method when navigating my way through this dark period in my life. I threw myself into work, became extremely over protective of my children, never left my house unless it was to go to work or take my children to their activities, drank a little too much red wine (still guilty of this, though not as much!) avoided social events and convinced myself that everyone was better off without me in their space.

I allowed my anxieties to control my every move. I hated leaving my house, I hated having to deal with the difficult questions from people about the breakdown of my marriage knowing that they were simply interested in the gossip as opposed to my genuine health and well being.

Over time, what I felt a sense of great shame over, has become a sense of great freedom. The damaging effects of divorce have finally been transformed into a new beginning for me, an opportunity for encouragement from Jesus as He builds me back up again to become even stronger and bolder than I’ve ever been.

The Bible encourages us victims of divorce to continue with our lives knowing that our future is healed. Though we may not know it or even see it, God sees it, so every day I am learning to trust in God and His promise for me.

I am hopeful that there is a great and abundant life after divorce. Up until recently, I was led to believe that life after divorce was meaningless and hopeless. But now, all that I see and hear is hope.

I blamed myself because I felt that I hadn’t done enough to avoid divorce. Just as it says in Psalm 38:4, ‘My guilt has overwhelmed me, like a burden too heavy to bear.’

It was this burden that prevented me from going back to church, connecting with friends and family and being the person that God called me to be.

I felt that I had failed as a Christian and struggled to be around other believers as a result. Even my friends who are non-Christians became strangers as it seems they too struggled to know what to do or say. I guess they felt that it was best to say and do nothing at all.

It became a very lonely and painful time. I’d spent so many years being there for others, even when my own pain and anxiety was eating away at me. All I needed was for someone to reassure me and give me hope. I had to learn instead to look within myself for that hope and reassurance. I had to rediscover my identity and who to place my trust in.

I’m not going to lie, it still hurts knowing how much I’ve had to endure without the help and support of some who I thought would be there for me no matter what. It’s always when you need a tear wiping that you realise who is there as opposed to when things are going well.

I’m in a much better place now, spiritually, physically and even socially.

I’ve found a new church home, I’m trying to socialise more (though I have some ways to go on this one), I’ve joined a gym, become a plant based vegan which is helping to improve my lifestyle and I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone to try new things which is helping me to rediscover my creativity.

What this experience has taught me is that no matter what has happened in your past that makes you feel really ashamed, there is nothing that can ever stop God from running towards you if you choose to come back to Him.

I am in the process of forgiving myself because I accept that I did everything that I could.

It’s not just about asking Gods forgiveness it’s also about forgiving ourselves. Once we accept that the past has past, only then can our real future begin.

I am not my pain, I am not my failures. I cannot and will not allow shame to determine my future.

Today is a new day. Today is a new me.

I will not let my past shame become my future pain.

‘Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance.’ Isaiah 61:7 NIV






Repression does not lead to progression does it?

Being my complete and authentic self is an achievement that I am working on everyday.

I used to run away from challenges because I didn’t feel that I could tackle them with a genuine authenticity that would allow me to overcome and grow from them.

I spent many of my formative years fitting into other people’s illusions of who they thought I was. My fear of shattering those illusions trapped me into being something that I was not.

I believed I was a victim of my environment and circumstance, a failure and a fraud, useless and voiceless.

I was dealing with a number of issues that desperately needed resolving. But I didn’t know how to begin the healing process. I was too caught up in a vicious cycle that rendered me unable to fight the healing process that deep down I didn’t genuinely believe in.

The last 3 years has been a huge transformation in terms of what I now know and believe about myself.

It’s taken a while but I’m finally starting to see myself as a victor rather than a victim.

In order to learn about who I really was and to expose the toxic energy around me I had to become vulnerable and release the raw and uncut emotions that were festering within. This had to be done carefully so as not to lead to further repressed rage and other negative emotions. As a songwriter, I was able to communicate the innermost, complicated and hard to reach intimate sections of myself using simple extraction tools known as a pen and paper. I appreciate that we all have our own ways of dealing with those repressed thoughts and feelings.

There have been times where I didn’t feel strong or capable enough and so considered actions that would mean that I didn’t have to deal with them anymore.

But I realised that such things would not deal with the problems, but instead pass them on to my loved ones.

So for me, my escape and remedy for dealing with what has been repressed head on was to write about it.

There is a huge sense of relief that comes with honesty and truth.

Suddenly I found myself not just simply going through the motions of a life that wasn’t my own.

For the first time in a long time, I felt a renewing of my mind, body and spirit.

I felt a new strength which was giving me the courage to open up my heart to genuine love from authentic individuals that had my best interests at heart.

It was no longer other’s toxic thoughts and concepts of me that was driving me, but instead for the first time I took the wheel and drove myself in a completely new direction.

I suddenly felt a wonderful freeness that was allowing me to fully explore my aspirations and potential.

For the first time I rejected what was not building me up to be the best version of me.

I spent so many years repressing my anger, frustration, loneliness and fear.

This repression had a shelf life. I didn’t know how long, but I know that it finally reached its ‘use by date’ which left me no choice but to finally let it out and let it go or to leave it locked inside where it would slowly but surely poison me to death.

In my case, repression has led to progression. But only because I recognised the value of my talent, ability and self worth. In order to progress I had to identify what it was about me that I was choosing to repress. Both the positive and the negative. In order to experience change I had to make room by simply throwing out the trash instead of choosing to hoard it.

As an artist, I appreciate the notion of rehearsal. To practice something over and over again until it becomes familiar and comfortable.

Unfortunately life cannot be rehearsed. It is not a performance that I must produce in order to please others.

I understand that I only have one chance to get this life right. This is not a rehearsal. I don’t have time to get familiar with certain things until they become comfortable.

I have to accept that I will always be outside of my comfort zone. This will bring about the growth, ambition and legacy that I believe I am destined to deliver.

In order to face the challenges ahead I have to fully understand who I am and what I stand for in order to build a resilience in me that can repel the enemy.

I have been alone for a long time. I now understand that this is necessary in order to reach higher heights of consciousness about who I really am.

I can’t wait to meet a genuine and likeminded spirit who values their own significance and not only strives for better, but is able to fully action that ambition.

I am attracted to individuals who know their own mind, are willing to explore outside of their comfort zone and appreciate artistry from an intellectual perspective. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that this may lead to a timely delay in settling with a genuine soulmate, but I am hopeful that my expectations will pair with a king who boasts these characteristics along with many other desirable attributes.

Sometimes we don’t end up where we want to be, but where we need to be.

Our actions and ability to deal effectively with what is on the inside, determines not what we want but what we need.

If what you want is a symptom of what you are choosing to repress, what you want will not give you what you need.

Be careful what you ask for, be careful about what and how long you choose to repress. If you seek progress, open up and let the bad stuff go.

‘For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.’

(2 Timothy 1:7, NIV)









Is it really that hard to handle the truth?

In my 36+ years on this earth I have often found myself in many a situation where I’ve needed to tell someone the truth. Most of those times, the truth didn’t want to be heard. But I had to remind myself that even if they didn’t want to hear it, doesn’t mean that it didn’t need to be said.

We all talk about ‘truth’ as if it is something that we all want in our lives. However, I’ve lost count of the times where I’ve heard of individuals who have fallen out with others on account of hearing the truth about themselves. Or I’ve seen families and relationships break-down because the truth wasn’t owned and handled with care. Speaking from my own experience, the inability by others to handle the truth, seriously impaired me from accepting the truth about my own situation. In my case it led to me constantly making it a priority to put my energy and time into trying to force feed the truth to an energy that wasn’t ready or willing to receive it. This was all in the hope that them accepting their truth would fix what lies had broken. But over time, I learned that only my own truth could set me free. Truth cannot change what does not want to accept change.

It can be hard to handle the truth. In fact it’s so hard, that some people spend their whole lives avoiding it. Some people are willing to lose their families, friends, jobs and reputation, if it means that they don’t need to face their own truth.

One thing I’ve learned is that I should never compromise myself and my own truth for the sake of someone else who is unable to handle theirs.

I am now at the start of my 37th chapter. I find myself reflecting on how many people I have had to leave in the past because they were too afraid to handle the truth.

Some people only accept the truth from certain people. If I’m honest, this concept has always baffled me. The truth is the truth, no matter how it is packaged. You may not be ready to hear it, but it’s going to come regardless, because nothing can stop the truth from revealing itself.

What is hidden in the dark, will be revealed in the light.

I understand that for some, this is not fathomable because it’s easier for them to live in doubt and darkness. It can be much more comfortable in that secret and dark place, because there is nothing to harm the facade that you’ve built around yourself.

Believe me, I’ve been there, I’ve lived a life that wasn’t really my own, tried to fool myself into thinking that something other than my true self was more acceptable.

But acceptable to who? The people who revolve their own lives around fakery? The people who don’t even accept me for who I really am anyway?

The older I get, the more comfortable I become with who I am. I’m not going to lie, some days are difficult, especially when I consider the cost of truth, in that I’ve lost many friends as a result of embracing my truth and rejecting their toxic version of my truth.

But I live in hope that my truth that I am finally learning to embrace will attract an enabling truth that will complement my own. Given that we live in a world which revolves around fake news and filters, I’m not sure how long the wait will be, but I’m hopeful that it will be sooner rather than later. Because if truth be told, I would rather live out my next chapter in partnership with a true kindred spirit than alone.

I am open and honest about who I am, anything else just takes up too much energy. As you get older, you realise just how valuable your energy and time is.

In this age of social media it’s very easy to portray a life that isn’t really yours. If that’s what you choose to do, then good luck to you, I don’t judge, I just pray that one day you will find and embrace your true self.

As for me, I am a single mother of 3 very intelligent and talented children, I am a teacher by trade and finally, a wonderful woman who has needs that are currently not being met. But I have faith that there is someone out there who can handle my truth as well as their own.

I have experienced so much in my short life. I have no regrets so far because every challenge has helped me to become the true version of myself that I am today.

I have changed. I am not who I was. Truth brings change and growth. If you knew me then, you don’t know me now. If you wish to get to know the woman that I am now, you know where I am. In the meantime, I will continue to be the amazing woman of truth that I am as I work towards my future goals and aspirations.

Don’t expect anything but the truth from me, if you want something else then I’m not the one.

You can keep running from the truth but it’ll catch up with you in the end.

‘Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.’ (1 Corinthians 13:6, NIV)









How can you expect your life to change if you don’t change yourself first? 

img_0705I have a habit of keeping things to myself. I now consider it quite a bad habit, because a habit that does me no good is no good to me.
There are many sayings which teach us about the importance of keeping your business to yourself, it’s nothing to do with anybody else! But can the same be said about God’s business? I’m a Christian, not the best by all means, but I try to be the best that I can be. I understand the power of fellowship and I appreciate how God uses other people to speak directly into my situations and to counsel me when I need it and even when I think I don’t. It’s a constant reminder that His power and His spirit is in and around me every challenging step of this amazing way.

And yet I have still spent so many years keeping things to myself. Things that I felt ashamed of, things that I felt that others wouldn’t understand, things that I felt no one else would care about, things that overwhelmed me and convinced me that no one should know for fear of being judged or cast away.

Things have a way of making you feel as if nothing else matters.

The enemy has a way of convincing you to keep things hidden away because what is kept in the dark is to its glory.

But my biggest lesson learned this year was such an eye opener. It helped me to understand why I spent so many years stuck in a vicious cycle of hurt, doubt and inconsistency.

In order to truly experience God’s mercy and Grace we have to be willing to reveal so that He can heal. If we don’t share our problems how we can we expect them to get fixed? God will wait, He’s good at that! Especially when it comes to us stubborn humans like me! We convince ourselves that our healing is unobtainable because we are undeserving. I spent so many years feeling this way. As a result I cut myself off from the very people that I believe God sent my way to help me through my pain. Sometimes our pain is so loud and blinding that it prevents us from obtaining that which God has set out for us.

So I began to reveal so that I could heal. I recognised that I am above my pain because I changed my perspective. My gaze rested on my God given purpose and it revealed exactly what I needed to do.

I stopped wishing and started praying for better days. I started sharing my heart with a few trusted souls and they helped me to work through some of the darkest days of my life.

We were not sent here to get through life alone. Even if it’s just one person in our life, we need to have others in our life that we can rely on.

I understand how traumatic loneliness can be and how damaging it can be to an individual’s mental state, I’ve been there, at times, I’m still there, but I keep believing, keep praying and keep hoping because I know the power and might that it has taken to get me to where I am now.

During this festive season, I am so thankful for all that I am and how far I have come.

I’ve lost so much but gained so much more. I have given up so many times in this past year alone, but by God’s grace and the love and support of a trusted few I have made it and I’m still winning.

If you want your life to change, you have to change yourself first.

I had to change my mindset in order to elevate and experience growth. The kind of growth that will form the foundation of the legacy that I hope to leave behind for my children and their children and generations to come.

In order to be the person that I am now I had to accept that where I was, wasn’t where I was supposed to be. I accepted that doing the same thing in a different way was not going to get me anywhere but stuck where I was.

I had to overcome fear, disappointment, loss, grief and replace them with courage, determination and resilience.

As a result, my children have a mum that they can rely on and I can rely on myself to make the right choices for the right reasons.

Because I changed first, my life changed.

I will walk into 2018 with a stronger body, mind and spirit.

If you want change in your life you have to be willing to change bad habits about yourself first. Only then will you truly experience everlasting and meaningful change.










No one knows how it’s going to end, but the journey still counts for something doesn’t it?


I know what it’s like to experience real and absolute love. I also know what it’s like to experience real and absolute loss.
Sometimes loss can over power the gains that we have made in our lives. At times nothing else matters except what has been taken, what can no longer be here to soothe the pain and mask the pretence that everything is ok when really it wasn’t.
Sometimes we feel the pain of losing something before we’ve even lost it. Sometimes we fight so hard to keep hold of something that was never really ours to hold on to. It may have felt right and almost perfect. But perfect often has a way of exposing its imperfections as time passes. Time changes things, and with change comes the truth. The truth cannot hide, time and change teaches us that.
The truth is, some people have a habit of holding onto what keeps them from facing their own truths. We tend to fear the unknown and refuse to step into it for fear of exposing our weaknesses. But without weakness, there can be no strength. Power and strength are born out of weakness and the possibility to achieve what we thought impossible. Navigating our way through the unknown and impossible is what exposes the best things about us. Without testing ourselves, how can we really know what we are capable of?
I have lost count of how much I have lost in my lifetime. Some losses have been almost unbearable. But I couldn’t give in to those losses, I owed it to my future self to keep going.
I lost two babies and after each painful loss, felt that there was nothing left for me to gain.
But I proved my vulnerability and dark thoughts wrong when I held my rainbow baby in my arms. I watch him progress everyday and thank God that in my weakest moments I found the strength to keep going. It’s because I did, He now can.
Don’t give all that is left of you to what is lost, remain hopeful for what is to come. It’s hard to hear, especially when you’re existing in that moment of extreme pain and loss. But what I’m learning is that it’s much more productive to put time and energy into the legacy that you want to leave behind when it finally becomes your time to become lost to this world.
Everything that once was, does and always will matter, but what matters more is what lies ahead of us.
What is ahead of us has the power to change and impact lives positively.
The truth really does set us free and moves us from strength to strength.

Maybe it’s your time to stop fighting the unknown and to start strengthening your ability to accept change and begin to own your truths instead of running from them.
The past is not ours to fight, the future remains unchartered territory and it is ours for the taking. If anything, our past should teach us to pick our battles more wisely and to only fight for what is really worth fighting for, for what strengthens our purpose and leads us towards where we’re supposed to be.
If only we could be strong enough to let go of what keeps holding us back.

We don’t know what the future holds, but every moment of the journey is preparing us for what is to come. Every positive moment is confirmation that it’s always worth holding out for better even when those negative moments threaten to convince us that maybe it’s not.
We’ve made it this far, let’s hold on to see what else is planned for us. It’s worth the wait.

‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’
(Jeremiah 29:11, NIV)

#Hope #Faith #Purpose
#Ability #Power #NoExcuses
#Strength #Determination #Love
#Loss #Change #Focus #KeepGoing #IfICanYouCan


Is it really worth holding out for?


I’m 36 years old. I’ve attempted suicide on three separate occasions in my life and thought about it many other times.
The first time was when I was 21 years old, a few months after graduating, September 2002. I left university and didn’t have any idea about what I was going to do with my life. I had no job, no money and felt as if I wasn’t good enough at anything to make a real future out of it. I didn’t fit in, I didn’t have anyone that understood the pain that I was experiencing. I was so lost, for the first time in my life, I couldn’t see a way out. Nothing seemed to matter, I felt that I had nothing to live for. I didn’t understand about the importance of purpose. I was in a dark place and it seemed that the light was shining on everyone else but me. So I decided it was best for me and most importantly, everybody else, if I wasn’t here anymore. I took a whole load of pills and then jumped in a taxi to my friends house. I ended up in hospital and everyone else was fighting to keep me alive except for me. But something deep inside of me knew that it wasn’t my time to go. It kept me alive.
A few weeks later I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter who is now 14 years old with a bright future ahead of her. I also went on to have my second child some years later who is destined for greatness.
The second time was around 7 years later during a particularly difficult time in my marriage. I was struggling to cope with many of the challenges that I was faced with. I couldn’t focus on my future and started to slowly lose hope in myself, the marriage and life in general. Again, I felt it would be better for myself and everyone else to just go forever so that I could no longer be a burden or disappointment.
An ambulance was called but I didn’t go to hospital that time. I slept for a few days until the darkness had left my system.
A few years later I had my 3rd child, graduated from University for the third time and qualified as a teacher.
There was another attempt a few years after the second but it wasn’t as intentional as the first two.

Why am I sharing this? Because too many people choose to give up, feeling that they  are not destined for great things. Too many people believe that they are not worthy and give up without realising just how much they are giving up. Too many people walk through each day thinking that they are the only one to be going through unbearable pain.
The point I’m trying to make is that even when in that moment it seems that there isn’t much point to anything anymore, there is always a point. There is always that point in our life when what goes down, comes back up again. I’ve learned that those low moments do not last. I also testify to the fact that the best is always yet to come.

If my first suicide attempt had been successful, I would have missed out on so much love and joy. My children would never have had a chance to fulfil their God given purpose and I would have gone against the natural laws of the Kingdom of God.
It is always worth holding out for what is to come. In those moments when it feels as if all faith is lost, remember, that sense of loss is not a sign for everything to come to an end, it is a sign to stop, change your direction or perspective and keep searching for whatever it is that will give you that sense of peace and purpose. You will find it.

It’s also a sign to pause, there is nothing wrong with stillness. It’s only when you completely stop something that you can properly analyse it in order to figure out how best to fix it.
Whatever you need to get back to that secret place of peace and tranquility will come to you when you prepare yourself to receive it.
It could be a new job, relocating, divorce, marriage, or even a trip to the gym. If you’re not ready to receive it, then work on getting yourself ready. Rid yourself of any negativity in your life. You can choose what your pour your energy into and what energy you allow into your system.

Never give up, it wasn’t my choice to make. That’s why I’m still here.
I’m so thankful for all that God has brought me through. I’m still facing many challenges, many of them, alone and afraid at times. But I’ve been through much worse and I am still smiling.
Maybe I care too much about what others think about me, but I’m yet to let a pointless opinion hold me back. Maybe I’m too trusting but I’m yet to let my naivety hold me back from achieving my goals. Maybe my anxieties are too overwhelming at times, but you’ll never see me give in to fear.

I will continue to live my life and to do it afraid. And to do it all with a smile. But don’t let my smile fool you. Never assume that someone is ok just because they are smiling. We should know from our own experience that there is pain behind every smile. It’s just whether we are bothered enough to take the time to find out.
Life is tough, and most of the time very unfair. But I have to keep reminding myself that I’ve made it this far. I honestly do not think that God would have bought me this far to just leave me stranded. Something greater is on its way so I must hold out to receive it. It’s not my job to understand the complexities of this life. It’s my job to meet each challenge head on and walk in faith to overcome them.
If I can get through the challenges of my past then I can handle the tests of my future. Be encouraged. Light overcomes darkness so keep searching for that light.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
(Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV)