Is this moment better than the worst?

I often wonder about what is to come.

Is it going to get any better?

Is this is it for me?

Is the pain and suffering that I’m experiencing now worth all of the trouble that it’s causing?

Every time that these thoughts come, I think back to previous battles that I didn’t think were worth fighting for, I think of the times when I didn’t think that I was strong enough to overcome. I look back at the times when I was on my knees, crying out to God for his Mercy and Grace which just seemed to never come. I think of all of the people who gave up on me because my pain was too much for them to bear.

I think of the times when I was calling for the light to brighten the darkness that I was trapped in.

I ponder the moments when the spirit of God seemed to just pass me by, when it seemed as if I wasn’t worth saving, when nothing else mattered other than no longer existing.

I think of all of these moments of brokenness. I wonder how I’m still here, still breathing, basking in the joy that fills my soul; the very soul that until recently felt empty, void of any hope, powerless and lost.

I couldn’t have survived all that I’ve been through without the intervention of a higher power. Without the mercy and patience of a power beyond anything I could ever try to imagine.

It’s not something that I find easy to explain, it’s not something I would even expect many to understand. But for the few that do, be encouraged, it does get better. I can testify that even in this moment, what lies ahead really is worth holding out for.

The extraordinary tends not to make much sense to begin with. Instead of wasting energy trying to comprehend that which is holding us together, use the time instead to deepen the connection to it and as the relationship develops, so too will the understanding of it.

I don’t claim to fully overstand every experience that I have faced, but I try to look within each one for the lesson it was trying to teach me. I aim to grasp the authenticity of every interaction that touches my mind, body and spirit.

My aim is to deepen my connection with my inner self so that my outer being can evoke a strength beyond any barrier that might try to bend or break me.

I am a spirit builder, I won’t stop until the foundation is set and that which is built upon it is strong enough to withhold any storm. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m working everyday towards the goal.

The light within must shine bright enough to drown out even the darkest shadow.

I have hope that I will get there. My hope keeps me going everyday, even when the past fights to keep me there, in my brokenness and hopelessness. I keep pushing through and continue to press ahead.

I will not surrender. I will not forget how much I have already overcome.

I will breath, I will survive, I will be ok.

‘Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God’. (John 14:1)

#SpiritOfTheFittest #LightOverDark

#Yes #IAmInAwe #Love #Power #Might #Spirit #KeepGoing #ItsJustATest #YouWillWin #GodsSpirit


Open letter to the UK Police Force

I am mum to a 12 year old daughter, 8 year old son and a one year old son.

I am concerned for their safety given the number of high profile cases of cruelty against people of colour at the hands of the very people being paid (by our taxes!) to protect them.

Many of your Police officers seem to think that they have the right to do wrong, based on the skin colour of the person that they are dealing with.

Society dictates that we should live within a hierarchical system determined solely by the colour of one’s skin. The lighter you are, the more privilege you have.

But I think that by now, in 2015, it is common knowledge that beneath our skin, we are all the same, our hearts beat the same, our blood runs through our veins the same and we all qualify for equal opportunities.

And yet between, 2014-15, seventeen people of colour died in Custody.

Recent figures also reveal that the number of people dying in police custody has reached its highest level for five years.

A recent independent review announced by Home Secretary Theresa May, could go some way towards exposing what’s really going on; though given past experience of injustice I highly doubt it.

The constant evasiveness and obstructions to justice displayed by some members of the Police force has so far paid off in your favour.

But surely you must now see that times are changing. Social media and camera phones are now exposing much of what has to this day been hidden. People are waking up to the hypocrisy and dangerous behaviour displayed by some members of the force.

It has become painfully clear that there seems to be a pattern of unjust heavy handed, highly violent and callous interactions between the Police and Citizens, particularly people of colour.

So please can you explain to me why people of colour are still being persecuted by ignorant and racist Police Officers, why people of colour make up a disproportionate percentage of the number of people in Prison and in some cases for minor offences that others would most likely get away with, or why citizens are still dying in custody and also why no Police Officer has ever been brought to justice over the mistreatment of people who have suffered an injustice at the hands of the Police.

How much longer will this and the next generation have to keep fighting for justice that they should be freely entitled to?

When will Society finally catch on to the fact that we are human first?

My colour should not dictate how far I get on in life or whether I live or die as a result of a minor traffic violation (RIP Sandra Bland).

I am sick and tired of hearing about victims who have suffered unjustly at the hands of the Police at home and abroad.

To me it’s pretty simple. Wear your badge with honour, perform your duties with honour and honour the whole community that you serve.

If corruption and cover ups be the food of your soul, then let justice starve you until you start to eat right.

I would appreciate a response from you so that I can sit my three children down and explain to them the future that they may have to face at the hands of your officers. I think they deserve to know your truth so this is your opportunity to explain yourself and maybe even be accountable to the actions of some of your gang members.

Kind regards

A concerned British citizen and mum of 3



#MarkDuggan #KingsleyBurrell  #SeanRigg #OlaseniLewis #MikeyPowell #ShekuBayoh #SmileyCulture #DemetreFraser #JacobMichael #ChristopherAdler







Media outlets! Where were you?!

reparations pic

How does a peaceful march attended by thousands of people in London slip by almost unnoticed?

Over three thousand people are estimated to have marched in support of reparations for Maafa (African enslavement) last weekend and yet no mainstream media outlets chose to cover it?

The first thing I find myself asking is why? Though the answer may well be obvious to many, it still makes me wonder why, in 2015, thousands of people of colour march to Parliament in peace to raise awareness of a serious matter that is clearly of public interest given the huge numbers of people possible affected; but no major newspaper or radio station thought it was worth a mention.

So why were the views and the concerns of these British citizens widely ignored?

This peaceful march, filled with drumming, chanting and positive vibes was given a wide berth simply because the prejudices that were apparent back in the days of slavery are unfortunately still at the heart of many British institutions.

Is this simply a race issue? In my opinion, yes it is. Will any media outlets ever admit that they don’t really care about what matters to people of colour? Of course not!

They will only care if one of us has committed a crime or if the march had descended into chaos and violence.

Until recently, I produced a specialist BBC Local radio show which covers stories that matter to the African and Caribbean community.

My final show, a week before the reparations march saw a group of Rasta’s come in to perform a live groundation (Spiritual chanting and drumming) and to raise awareness of the upcoming march.

I saw it as my duty to ensure this event received coverage. I did also wonder if anyone else would be brave enough to broadcast anything about it.

The thousands, who attended the march, did so following a successful social media, mobile platform and community radio campaign led by grass roots activists and campaigners.

I view this to be a major achievement and ground-breaking in terms of unifying the black community for something other than a carnival, wedding or funeral.

What was even more poignant about this event was the petition handed in to parliament by a delegation of community representatives including Sis Jendayi Serwah, Sis Esther Stanford-Xosei, Mama Lindiwe Tsele, Sis Natoya Smith and brothers Kweme Abubaka and Jabari Sekou.

It was titled ‘Stop the Maangamizi: We Charge Genocide/Ecocide’ requesting an All-Party Commission of Inquiry for Truth & Reparatory Justice to Downing Street.

Now all we need to do is to stop the media from blatantly ignoring the needs of the black community.

In particular, the broadcasters who force us to pay a TV license should be held to account for choosing to ignore the concerns of the community in which it is supposed to serve.


You’re not worthy




As a comedian most of what Lenny Henry says is a joke.

But the sentiment behind what he said regarding black programming was far from funny.

I bumped into him following an interview on one of BBC local radio’s popular daytime shows.

When asked why he wouldn’t come on the black led show at the same radio station following several interview requests his response although rather tongue in cheek was filled with rather more truth than satire.

In his jest and banter he alluded to the fact that he won’t come on the black show because it’s not as popular as the white led shows which have more reach and cater to a much wider exclusively white audience.

After the shock of hearing this from him, the man who seems to be championing diversity in the media and calling for quality over quantity in response to quotas, I was confused as to why he would have me leave the room feeling as though black programming isn’t worthy of his or anyone else’s time. Joke or not.

As a producer of a black led show I know first hand how much of a struggle it is to secure big name guests such as Lenny.

Even though my show is part of one of the biggest and most popular broadcasters in the world, we still face challenges in attracting influential guests. It leaves me wondering if we are struggling then what about other black programming in other areas of lesser known media outlets?

What I do know is that the programme that I produce is of excellent quality with great stories and contributors.
With or without the likes of Lenny Henry and other big named stars I know that my show will continue to provide great value for its listeners.

I know many well seasoned black broadcasters will roll their eyes and shrug their shoulders at this because it’s just something they’ve become used to over the years.

I just hope that one day, those in positions of power and influence who continue to harp on about equality in mainstream media will also be prepared to appear on those same marginalised shows in both mainstream and independent media that they are so keen to champion.

Talk is cheap, it is action that pays. 

#diversity #blackledprogrammes #Herewegoagain #doublestandards #Thisisnotaboutplayingtheracecard #equality #practicewhatyoupreach #dontforgetwhereyoucomefrom