Am I really headed in the right direction?

Recently I keep finding myself wondering if I’m where I should be. I question my position in life and wonder if I should have gone about things differently. I find myself doubting the choices that I have made and begin to convince myself that I’ve made too many mistakes to be living right.

I add further insult to injury by focusing too much on how much I’ve lost instead of how much I’ve gained. How far I still have to go instead of how far I’ve actually come.

The irrational thoughts begin to spiral out of control as the nonsense begins to suddenly make sense. I become trapped in my own web of deceit.

It’s so easy to look down on yourself. It’s much harder to shift your perspective and look up to the power and strength that you truly are.

I find myself feeling angry at times without even really knowing why. But it is common knowledge that anger is a symptom of fear.

I realised that my fear stems from the ability to keep comparing myself to others and the inability to recognise the uniqueness that makes me the wonderful, motivated and aspirational woman that I am now.

I believe that the many questions and doubts are signposts towards an uncertainty as a result of straying away from where God needs us to be.

We have to learn to listen to the questions and let the answers that are revealed guide us back to centre.

Often it’s not obvious that we have strayed because where we end up can feel comfortable. But it’s only when we make ourselves uncomfortable that we truly experience real growth and change for the better. We were not built to stay the same forever. We have to let go in order to grow. We have to accept change in order to gain. We have to remain determined and strong in order to hold onto what we need and believe.

Everything that I have done, everything that I have seen, everywhere that I have been is rooted into my journey because it’s the only way that I could learn one of my life’s very important lessons.

I’ve never done anything that God didn’t need me to do. I’ve never seen anything that God didn’t need me to see. I’ve never been anywhere where God didn’t need me to be.

Every joy, every pain, every love, every shame, everything that has chipped away at me has shaped me into the person that I am today.

For this reason I can’t have any regrets. For this reason I have to accept that I am exactly where God needs me to be, seeing exactly what he needs me to see, doing exactly what he needs me to do.

I may not truly understand but it’s not my job to understand. My job is to have faith that in all things, God will bring me through and keep me close to him.

So the next time that you’re questioning why or wondering why not, remember to look within to analyse how much you need to learn about where you are so that you can apply that learning to the next phase. This is not it for you.

You are exactly where you need to be. It will lead you to where you need to go.

Consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.’ Romans 8:18 NIV

BlackAmercia, Uncategorized

Acting for a change

imageDrama is an excellent tool for change in that it challenges perception and allows individuals to explore reality in a safe space where actions and consequences can be examined in detail. It can help to prepare young minds for the real world and the many issues that they may face. It allows people to communicate, learn and understand their own and others feelings and experience reality without the pitfalls. It can also help to develop tolerance and a real and deep sense of empathy. Seeing how the world looks through someone else’s eyes can be an effective way of understanding another’s point of view. Possibly something that we need more of in our society.
The majority of young people in my drama lesson today were brown and black and my heart was heavy when I saw them because I fear for their future.
Due to my concerns about events that have happened recently in the US and even right here on our own doorstep in the UK I decided it was time to act.
No amount of hashtags and calls for justice being made behind a computer or phone screen is going to alter the fact that one of my students could be the next victim.
I wanted them to understand the dangers that they may face and understand the importance of choice, choosing their battles wisely and the consequences of injustice.
Many people are now asking what we are prepared to do about the consistent senseless killings of young men and women, in particular people of colour who are dying at the very hands of those who swore an oath to protect them.
I chose to act because it is the duty of every one of us to safeguard our young people.
They are angry, they are hurting, they are confused and they are calling for justice. Social media is encouraging individuals to take justice into their own hands instead of educating them about the problems and providing effective long term means to solutions.
Vengeance will be the death of all of us if we continue to raise our children to be filled with hate, if we continue to show them that two wrongs make a right, if we continue to force them to watch videos of our brothers and sisters being killed. Put down the phones and pick up a book. Show our young people that in order to be heard they must build their own platform. That platform is built on a solid and effective education and a strong family unit.
One can only fight injustice with knowledge, intellect, hope, unity and prayer.
I will continue to pray for our young people in the hopes that this unrest that we face is put to rest and energies are instead put into tackling the cause with effective and peaceful solutions.