Am I really headed in the right direction?

Recently I keep finding myself wondering if I’m where I should be. I question my position in life and wonder if I should have gone about things differently. I find myself doubting the choices that I have made and begin to convince myself that I’ve made too many mistakes to be living right.

I add further insult to injury by focusing too much on how much I’ve lost instead of how much I’ve gained. How far I still have to go instead of how far I’ve actually come.

The irrational thoughts begin to spiral out of control as the nonsense begins to suddenly make sense. I become trapped in my own web of deceit.

It’s so easy to look down on yourself. It’s much harder to shift your perspective and look up to the power and strength that you truly are.

I find myself feeling angry at times without even really knowing why. But it is common knowledge that anger is a symptom of fear.

I realised that my fear stems from the ability to keep comparing myself to others and the inability to recognise the uniqueness that makes me the wonderful, motivated and aspirational woman that I am now.

I believe that the many questions and doubts are signposts towards an uncertainty as a result of straying away from where God needs us to be.

We have to learn to listen to the questions and let the answers that are revealed guide us back to centre.

Often it’s not obvious that we have strayed because where we end up can feel comfortable. But it’s only when we make ourselves uncomfortable that we truly experience real growth and change for the better. We were not built to stay the same forever. We have to let go in order to grow. We have to accept change in order to gain. We have to remain determined and strong in order to hold onto what we need and believe.

Everything that I have done, everything that I have seen, everywhere that I have been is rooted into my journey because it’s the only way that I could learn one of my life’s very important lessons.

I’ve never done anything that God didn’t need me to do. I’ve never seen anything that God didn’t need me to see. I’ve never been anywhere where God didn’t need me to be.

Every joy, every pain, every love, every shame, everything that has chipped away at me has shaped me into the person that I am today.

For this reason I can’t have any regrets. For this reason I have to accept that I am exactly where God needs me to be, seeing exactly what he needs me to see, doing exactly what he needs me to do.

I may not truly understand but it’s not my job to understand. My job is to have faith that in all things, God will bring me through and keep me close to him.

So the next time that you’re questioning why or wondering why not, remember to look within to analyse how much you need to learn about where you are so that you can apply that learning to the next phase. This is not it for you.

You are exactly where you need to be. It will lead you to where you need to go.

Consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.’ Romans 8:18 NIV


It’s not me, it’s you!


Have you ever felt like you’ve been used as a scapegoat for someone who has done wrong but is in desperate need of someone to blame?

It’s hard to admit to yourself when you’re wrong and even harder to admit to others.
I’ve been a scapegoat too many times and I refuse to continue to be used as a distraction from the real heart of the matter. Similarly, I don’t want to be the reason why someone does not take accountability for their actions.
As a result, I will not take being a scapegoat lying down. God has bought me way too far to leave me at the hands of those who are intent on destroying their own destiny.

I have to be accountable for my own shortcomings and be wise enough to change the things about me that are not of me. We all have a choice, everything we do in life is a choice. Life presents us with things that we know are bad for us but we choose it because it feels good or we refuse it because we recognise the harm it will cause. I know when something is not supposed to be on my journey towards fulfilling my purpose and these very things that are not of me must not become me. We may not always know the right thing to do but we still have to decide what direction to head in regardless. I decided a long time ago to choose not to be the excuse for other people to continue to self destruct.
I am worth more than a sorry apology and I aim to build a legacy that demonstrates the beauty in taking responsibility for your own actions.

I work with young people on a daily basis and I see first hand the result of a society that has become reliant on a blame and claim culture. Our children are being taught to be reckless because when it all goes wrong someone somewhere will compensate them for the trauma they bought upon themselves.

It is our responsibility to protect our children from themselves and the blameless society that we live in. How will they know right from wrong if nobody holds them to account for their actions? Too often we hear of another young person dying at the hands of someone who will not be held accountable for their actions. This then leads to more death and destruction because there are no consequences.

Someday we will all be held to account for our actions by a higher power so I always try to make a point of practising the art of self accountability from now.
Are you someone who struggles to admit that you got it wrong?
How do you behave towards others when you are unable to take responsibility for the hurt and pain that you have caused?
It’s never too late to say that you’re sorry and maybe those who need to hear it are now ready to receive it.

In my experience I have learned that I cannot change the things that cannot or refuse to change. I can however change my approach to those times when I unwittingly become the scapegoat. My response is pretty simple and I keep telling myself this every time an excuse tries to stand in my way.
There is a reason why you have fallen short of the expectations that God has set out for you, but I can assure you that it’s not me, it’s you.